Date: 05th June 2020 Days unemployed: 65 Days spent looking for a job: none Weeks spent in isolation: 11
As lockdown eases in France and in the UK, it feels like we may be slowly going back to normal. Friends who were on furlough are returning to work, some are also going back in person. We’ve also met with family in person. When I go out for a run, the roads are busier, the trails quieter. We even found some delivery slots available at our local supermarket.
Yes, Covid-19 is still very much part of our lives. Every photo I see on the news has people wearing masks. Whenever I have to go to the shop, we queue, we avoid each other and awkwardly try to keep our distances. Interactions in person are still very limited. There are no running races or triathlon taking place other than virtually.
I want more time in introspection mode, pulling the threads of happiness in my life together from the safety of my back garden. More time to continue looking for that routine that will keep me in a good place. With the right balance of work & play each day so I don’t go insane. It’s taking time to work out what it looks like. 2 months just got me started. And I have so much left to do.
I want more time in lockdown, because it gives me space to explore what brings me joy, space to welcome whatever new ingredients my life needs going forward. Because the rat race isn’t where I want to be anymore.
Lockdown also gave me a reason to not look for a job straight away. I’m lucky enough to have savings that will see me through unemployment for a few months. And with our worlds turned upside down, my entourage understood I didn’t go looking in a job market that was struggling.
If the job market is returning to normal, I will have to start justifying my apparent inactivity. I mean, who takes months and months off without being on parental leave or going travelling? Which 30+ year old woman keeps her hair dyed crazy colours when she should be looking for a proper job? If you’re not going to be able to travel to all the places you wanted to, shouldn’t you be going back into employment until you can, and take that sabbatical then?
Lockdown meant there was nowhere to be, where I was was the only place to be.
It was, it still is liberating. I have so much exploring to do within myself, so much to uncover. It’s taking me a long time to start putting the work, and every day I’m showing up for it.
So no. Selfishly, I don’t want lockdown to end. Because I need the pace to remain slow, I need to go through my growing pains without external distractions. Because it will mean adjusting to a new world again, with alluring distractions, and I am just starting to get settled in this one.